Today is Mother’s day. It is the day that I take a moment to sit back and celebrate the amazing miracle of new life, and the way that it can change a woman into a mother over night. It is the day that I rejoice with my mommy friends, the day that I thank God for my own mother’s love and devotion.
But today, I think of you.
There’s so many things I don’t know right now. Like the color of your skin, or the way you’ll smile. I wonder if you’ll have blue eyes, or if they could be brown, like mine. I wonder if your hair will have curls in it, or if it will be smooth and silky and soft. I wonder what your name will be, and if you’ll be a boy or a girl.
Will you like to be rocked and will you feel loved when I sing to you? Would you grow up to be a bookworm and writer? Would you be fascinated with electronics and tools? Maybe you’ll like engine grease and be driven to figure out what makes things tick. Perhaps you’ll like baking. I hope you’d like to feel the grass on your bare feet and to watch birds build their nests and how ants live in the world beneath our feet. Most of all I hope you’d learn to love the One who made all things, who made you to be the perfect little person I know you would be one day.
Often, I wonder if I’ll ever get a chance to feel you flutter beneath my heart. If I’ll get to watch you grow, if our voices will be the first you ever hear. More often, I wonder if a stranger will put you in our arms, and when we’ll finally get to meet you.
But in the end, those things aren’t important. It doesn’t matter how God chooses to put you into our lives. If one day it is God’s will for us to meet, I hope you will know that you are already loved. You are already wanted. So very much.
I don’t know when or how or if, but today, I think of you and think of how much I look forward to being your mommy…perhaps someday.